Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Bred for Motherhood??

Did you ever think about how there are those women who were just born to be home-makers? They always look perfect, and their children look perfect and if you were to just drop by their house it would be prefectly decorated and clean.

I am soooo not one of those people and I want to know their secrets. I have lived in my house now for a year, I have not hung one thing on a wall, the garage and basement are still full of stuff that I need to do something with, and I don't know when I am going to do any of these things because I struggle to get my day to day chores done.

It is probably partly my lack of sleep talking, but lately I just feel like it is impossible. I spend all day cooking meals and cleaning up and doing laundry and it is never done. It is just so discouraging. I feel like I don't have time to do anything extra. I really want to know what I am doing or not doing to make the most of my time.

Part of the problem is that my baby (without exaggerating) wants to eat every two hours day and night. I know lots of people who have had difficult babies, and now I understand. I feel like the worst mom ever because every time she cries I just think, "not again." I have been spoiled with three children who slept through the night, but even with those kids, I have never been very good at staying on top of everything.

Don't get me wrong, I love all of my children, they are the best things in my life, in fact, I may just be asking for it but I want to have one or two more. And I love being a stay at home mom. Those people who know me best know that I never want to have another job, I am happiest being mom and I think someday when my kids are in school may be the day that I can get everything done. I admire those women who can go to work and still get everything done. I am really just having a "sorry for myself" moment and wanted to vent to cyber space, and I know I just need to remember how blessed I am and keep on plucking away at the list of things to be done.

p.s. the hormones also come because I am trying to lose baby weight and so I am dieting and so it makes for a bad combination...TIRED AND HUNGRY! Not that I am really hungry, just hungry for treats, last night I had a dream that I cheated on my diet...pretty pathetic huh?


Nat said...

I totally hear ya on getting the "other" stuff done. Between taking care of my kids and cleaning up the constant messes that need immediate cleaning, I have no extra time!

I understand the feeding thing, too. Ivy goes about 3 or so hours, but I tend to prop her bottle (terrible, I know) while I do things like-heaven forbid-shower or eat. And then sometimes she just wants to be held and all that.

If you ever want a couple of hours just to have the kids away so you can clean or hang pictures or something, give me a call.

Miranda said...

I think anyone can relate to how you are feeling! I never feel like I am on top of things ever! Sorry to hear you have a higher maintenance baby. It changes everything when you don't get sleep and have a baby that is fussy. Having survived a difficult baby I say hang in there, a day will come when suddenly you realize you are able to get more done. Honestly I pick-up my house at nap time and before bed and I only do laundry on Mondays, and other responsibilities the rest of the days. That way I don't feel so overwhelmed. Nobody is perfect and if they look it you don't really know them! Have a better day!

Jamie said...

I don't know any person in real life who "has it all together". I think the only way would be to hire a housekeeper. And yes, I think when the kids are all in school it will be easier. With 4 kids, and one being just a wee baby, there's just no way! Good blog post because I think we can ALL relate.

If it will make you feel better though, just vow to hang one picture each day. Just do one small thing each day to get your house feeling more like a home. Maybe buy some pretty new kitchen hand towels. Small things mean a lot.

Jodi said...

Well, you are surrounded by lots of empathy and understanding. That doesn't make it any easier. The funny thing (well maybe not funny to you) is that I remember thinking that about YOU-one of those women that seems to have it all together. Isn't it interesting that we all have "sorrow that they eye can't see." I feel so overwhelmed too and I just sometimes have to put one foot in front of the other and look forward to Tender Mercy moments that boost me back up.

Meghan said...

I still don't get things done and I just had my 1st! I don't get either how some people can work, have kids and tend house so well. There's always something that falls short (laundry! or cleaning stupid hardwood floors).

P.S. I think you look great! If i have 4 kids I hope I look as god as you after! =)